This competition is a microcosm of life. I never know what will be thrown at me next. I have had my fair share of struggles & hurdles to jump just as all of you have. The challenge today was all about “clowning around” which was appropriate given it was in cooperation with Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. Unfortunately clowning around took on new meaning for me when I clumsily fell during the challenge and injured my knee.
Originally the challenge was to be held at the Scottrade Center but due to union rules we were not able to go in the building. Our challenge moved outdoors across the street near the Metrolink station. Wearing our clown noses and hats we ran up and down several large concrete blocks, spun plates on a stick while zigzagging around cones, hula hooped ten times, & sprinted to the finish line. The person with the best time would win four VIP tickets to the circus, a stuffed circus elephant, two programs, and most importantly, immunity. Immunity is what everyone hopes for and is what I was counting on. Lisa and I were the last two to run the course. It was a close race to the very end. Then right at the finish line I came crashing down.
When I realized what had happened I was overcome by emotion and anger. I imagined this is what it would feel like jumping hurdles in the Olympics, thinking you’ve earned a gold medal, and then you trip on the last hurdle. And poof! Just like that the dream is gone in a flash. Ok…so I am being a little dramatic here but if you know how competitive I am, my response will not surprise you. This competition is much like an Olympic hurdle race in more ways than the literal one. In my earlier posts The Underdog and On the Edge…of Giving UpI wrote about all of the hurdles I’ve had to jump during this competition including my brother nearly passing away due to complications from cancer, struggling with PCOS, and trying to find a balance in being a wife & mother and finding time for myself, among many other things. Today’s events will be added to the list.
Today’s fall has had profound consequences. Not only did it prevent me from earning the much needed immunity for this week’s weigh-in but it may have lasting affects on how I workout from this point forward. And with the weigh-in looming, I can do nothing right now but lay here with ice on my knee and pour my feelings into this post.
I am so angered and embarrassed by my performance today. I can deal with losing fair and square but losing like this is a blow to my self-esteem and honestly, there wasn’t much of that to begin with. Add falling (& failing) on TV to the mix and it makes me an emotional mess. For those of you who have been following my blog you know that today’s fall is just adding insult to injury (no pun intended). I was just beginning to find balance in my life, feeling good about my progress, and thinking more positively. And now this.
Today I received a tetanus shot because of the open wound on my knee, a brace to prevent it from twisting & minimize swelling, and medication. The doctor said my knee was already beginning to turn purple evidence of a badly bruised knee cap and to look for swelling over the next couple of days. That said, yes, it does hurt but it could have been much worse. I know that life will continue throwing curve balls at me or insist I jump hurdle after endless hurdle but know that my spirit will never waver. I have to trust that God knows what is best for me. In conclusion, I’ve chosen to work through the pain and not lose sight of my goals.
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- My injured knee three days after falling.
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- Brooke & Lisa during the Ringling Bros. Challenge
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- Just Clowing Around
